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Blog Posts

I’m Sam. Currently a sophomore at the University of Michigan in the English program, I don’t really plan on posting anything coherent, just a collection of my thoughts. Took the douche-pill and made a blog. If you’re viewing this page, you probably know who I am already.

Mourning Wall

“We never love anyone. What we love is the idea we have of someone. It’s our own concept—our own selves—that we love.” ― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet I’ve been thinking a lot about the implications of possessing a conscience. The frailty of the human spirit, and the fragility of the relationships we hold.Continue reading “Mourning Wall”

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Something missingAlways has been missingSince my mom passedAnd that cruel friendshipOh so painful I’m stuck in a loopAn eternal loopIt’s like escaping quicksandThe pits of hell Self-inflictedLike an abusive relationshipI am a facsimileTo the pessimist within But I hold people dear to my heartAnd I’m sure they would say otherwiseTell me I’m enoughAnd that IContinue reading “[REDACTED]”

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Something missingAlways ████████ missing████████████ passed████████ cruel ██████████████ painful █████████ in a loop██ eternal ████It’s like escaping █████████The pits of hell █████████████████████ abusive ████████████I am a facsimile███████████████████████ ██████████ people █████████████████████████████████ would say █████████Tell me I’m enough████████ I make their lives ████████████ worse I am █████████ what I think I am███ a pain to have aroundIt’s ██████████████Continue reading “██████████”

Sinew

My hair flows with the oscillations of a fanLike tendrilsThe rays of light through my blindsLike tendrilsThe phone is the brightest thing in the roomBlinding meCurated snippets from perfect livesBlinding meI yearn for something greaterSomething biggerThe shame I feel malignantly festersSomething biggerThe world outside escapes my graspSwiftly abscondingHope of a life better than thisSwiftly abscondingIContinue reading “Sinew”

This Charming Man

The sands of time are unrelenting, and they won’t stop for youNor I, and every day I can imagine the sands in an hourglass slowly sinking. Sinking is a feeling I don’t want to imagine, hopelessly struggling against the grains of a desertThat leaves you with nothing but a succumbing feeling of futility.Like a race,Continue reading “This Charming Man”

Cold Front

The wind was flowing with an icy sting on that fateful November day. I say fateful as if it wasn’t a pathetic attempt at either confronting my fears of living my life in mediocrity or confronting my fear that I’m just like everybody else, that I’m nothing more than just a fleeting sensation on theContinue reading “Cold Front”

A Stream

Something arises within me, a fleeting thought Who am I to claim I deserve to fulfill my dreams? Who deserves to claim that I won’t fulfill my dreams? The pressures from an uncaring world, cold and dark Like a 5 AM shower when my eyes won’t close, cold and dark The gentle sounds of scaldingContinue reading “A Stream”

Something more despondent

The most regret a person can experience is when lamenting lost potential. I’m horrified by it every waking moment of every day. I stand petrified by it, the looming specter of my failure inching closer every with every second that passes without me working towards my aspirations. Sometimes I think it stems from some kindContinue reading “Something more despondent”