There’s more waiting for you than you think
I’m Sam. Currently a sophomore at the University of Michigan in the English program, I don’t really plan on posting anything coherent, just a collection of my thoughts. Took the douche-pill and made a blog. If you’re viewing this page, you probably know who I am already.
Every white lie you tell is an embellishment of who you really are. At some point, you become a facade of yourself. Like everything you’ve ever fibbed about will catch up to you, like every single person you’ve lied about yourself to will come to realize you’re a hack and a fraud. A wave ofContinue reading “Cruel Dilemme”
It’s now 6 in the morning, and I find myself unable to sleep. I’ve taken intermittent naps throughout the day, and there’s nothing left for me but daylight in the next 14 hours. It’s a strange feeling, being up this early. At least for me. The rebirth of sunshine and a baptism in the warmContinue reading “Dawn”
Edvard Munch is one of my favorite artists. I wrote for the Hopwood Awards my freshman year, a piece I called “Two Women on the Shore”, a reference to one of his paintings. It was a story about a lesbian couple, something very obviously distant from my own lived experience as a straight (closeted panContinue reading “Poetry, Paintings, and Industrial Hip-Hop”
I read an article about an English illustrator yesterday. It was about a man named Louis Wain, a man who dedicated his life to drawing illustrations of various anthropomorphic cats. He drew a ton of fucking cats, like, for his entire life he drew these cats. Cats were seen as pests, something to be eliminatedContinue reading “Feline Inclinations”
I opened my eyes to find myself limpLaid upon a bed of autumnal leaves.The breeze blew my locks to wrap around my neckA scent of fall greeted me jubilantlyEarthy and warm to contrast a cold nipA cold nip at my cheeks, my skin flushing redMy lumbering body raised itself to standI brushed off my jacket,Continue reading “An Autumnal Breeze”
Who are the people I have loved? Well, I’m not entirely sure. Who are the people I love now? I can list a few. I love my dad, Doug, even if he has his shortcomings. Short temper, a bit neurotic. He frets over every small detail. I love my twin sister, Olivia. She’s sweet andContinue reading “Musings for a Silhouette”
“We never love anyone. What we love is the idea we have of someone. It’s our own concept—our own selves—that we love.” ― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet I’ve been thinking a lot about the implications of possessing a conscience. The frailty of the human spirit, and the fragility of the relationships we hold.Continue reading “Mourning Wall”
Something missingAlways has been missingSince my mom passedAnd that cruel friendshipOh so painful I’m stuck in a loopAn eternal loopIt’s like escaping quicksandThe pits of hell Self-inflictedLike an abusive relationshipI am a facsimileTo the pessimist within But I hold people dear to my heartAnd I’m sure they would say otherwiseTell me I’m enoughAnd that IContinue reading “[REDACTED]”
Something missingAlways ████████ missing████████████ passed████████ cruel ██████████████ painful █████████ in a loop██ eternal ████It’s like escaping █████████The pits of hell █████████████████████ abusive ████████████I am a facsimile███████████████████████ ██████████ people █████████████████████████████████ would say █████████Tell me I’m enough████████ I make their lives ████████████ worse I am █████████ what I think I am███ a pain to have aroundIt’s ██████████████Continue reading “██████████”
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